anu720neet's Profile

What comes after downfall?

Blurb:

The novel is about a girl suffering from downfall.With the example of siya it shows what happens after once we fail.. And for readers this my first time writting a novel hope u like it and sorry for any kind of mistakes

Excerpt:

Here again!!!Damn dude when i will be able to overcome this, Not again.And like this again..siya found herself again in a ever ending self guilt and doubt,crouched in a corner, crying her eyes out, hiding it from everyone.Head down on the study table,like a punishment in class for being noisy, hurting herself;riping her wrist flesh , asking for pain ,for her doing.Why ? Why? Why? Why always I do this ?. The frustration was for nothing else but for the rules and goals as we always set to "make a change" no matter how small it is;but..what happens if it doesn't go as we planned,what u would do? Some maybe like siya hurting themselves,some may take it easy or some may try it again not loosing the hope.Depending on the conditions each of them are correct.Siya preparing for a competitive exam , hoping for a better future for her family,for herself and for her late grandmother,to whom she still writes letter about how one day she will be the top student.Is now struggling with her distraction,which are nothing but a sweet venom,which tastes good but inside it eats u up.Unable to cutoff of ties with completely, falling everytime,try to get back again and again untill shredding down in pieces to tears . Hoping things will be fine.What she would do? What would u would have done?."Hey siya don't sleep!; eat u're lunch then go back to sleep" Siya's mom shouted not knowing the pain and guilt and tears siya was hiding in the act of sleeping... Wiping out her tears, taking slow steps towards the kitchen, fixing her clothes.Siya pushing herself , trying to get out from the evil distractions "i will let u forget everything"and " i will give u comfort" .With not her knowing she picks her plate with trembling hands.Siya was about to eat,but she noticed her phone,for that moment she felt like something litted in her.Like getting saved while drowing deeper and deeper in the pool of guilt.Siya gets her head straight,looks at her scratches on her wrist and the state she is in.She takes her phone ,put it too silent despite the thought of something imp if may shows off ,she will not get notified,but as we know sometimes we take matters something so imp that they starting haunting us.She locks her phone up ,opens the drawer keeps the phone inside it ,locks the drawing the drawer too.And get to finishing her lunch,the moment she takes the first bite she feels as if she got wisdom like the great buddha got when was given the milk and rice . She realised it's not a solution to hurt ourselves for each and everything we feel guilty.We are humans,we make mistakes and who in the world is perfect. As after every night dawn comes same we after dark nights the rays of sunlight too.Later after finishing up her food ,siya sat for studying though struggling to focus , overthinking and the thought of later a some point she have to use the phone, along with fear that she will be distracted.No,no,no; just don't think about it now , let's study for 15 min no atleast 10min , let's start with something that doesn't requires the use of phone.Like this when 1 hr passed,she didn't even noticed.Like this the days passed,she was not consistent but she tried,yeah she did.Unlike as wished,she didn't cleared the entrance exam.But what now ? Nothing has changed!!Yeah nothing.The colour of sky was still blue,the butterflies were still beautiful,the world was still as it was before.For seeing the world one don't need eyes but the perspective to see things.Some years later she got accepted for job and now to she did made her parents proud and guess what she is happy. So believe in urself,not at moment but may be a day later or a month or a year or someday everything will be fine,the problems of today will feel like something so pitty..

Word count:

Status: